Most people think that strap-ons are uniquely the province from the lesbian community, but in fact, they are often used by people of most genders and orientations. Recently, as an example, “pegging” (when a woman utilizes a strap-on to own anal sex using a man) has gained significant traction cultural awareness-wise, to the point of being featured in mainstream television and film (lookin' at you, Broad City). Indeed, straight men often use a hollow strap on for men with female partners to have double-penetrative sex, accommodate simultaneous masturbation, offset problems with erectile dysfunction and a host of other pursuits, while gay men, bisexuals, and genderqueer humans have all also found manifold ways to use harnessed dil's.
While we’re touching on gender, just a quick aside-: a strap-on is an inert (typically) silicone implement employed for sexual penetration. Any special meaning or fetish conferred into it beyond which is entirely a function of who uses it. That is to say- while many may enjoy conceptualizing and treating such toys as if these were natural extensions of themselves as being a real penis can be, it can be erroneous to presume that a woman who works on the strap-on has some kind of latent penis envy or need to emulate masculinity. A lesbian who utilizes a strap-on is no a lesser lesbian because of it, much like a straight man who enjoys being pegged with one isn't less straight.
But what’s the selling point of employing a strap-on over penetrative stimulation with a regular dildo, for instance?
The (perhaps obvious) answer is based on the fact that one’s hands are liberated, to support someone closer, stimulate other regions ones, masturbate and the like. Strap-ons also facilitate intimacy by getting partners to present and receive pleasure in new ways, requiring increased verbal and nonverbal communication and connection.
Now that we’ve established that strap-ons can be fun for everyone (who enjoys penetrative sex, that is certainly) would you go about choosing the proper one?
Essentially there are 2 principal kinds of “strap-ons”:
1) Those that actually require “straps” or harnesses
2) Those that don’t.
Each have their respective benefits and drawbacks.
Harnessed Strap-Ons
As one might expect, traditional harnessed strap-ons typically involve two components: a harness as well as a dildo. Harnesses can be purchased in a variety of materials styles and materials, including:
A type of harness that loops across the waist every leg to get a comfortable fit with great control. Three straps also mean greater customization of fit. This style is popular because it also leaves the wearer exposed for additional stimulation.
This type of harness gives a reasonable amount of control (though, as with the “jock” style, control has been enhanced the thicker the straps are), and fits with one loop round the waist and one between the legs. While it doesn't leave the wearer exposed, some take pleasure in the genital and anal stimulation the center strap offers during movement.
This sort of harness typically cinches together in the sides to provide additional support.
This selection of harness has become more popular with the hollow strap on for men then ever recently and is also meant to fit like a pair of normal underwear. They are available in a host of varieties from more boxer-brief like styles to more feminine styles. While they're strap free and so the simplest to use, they also offer slightly less support and therefore are less suitable for hosting heaver toys.
A various other harnesses including thigh harnesses as well as harness masks are for sale for couples seeking to get more creative. Some harnesses have have built-in internal dil's or butt plugs to get the wearer additional stimulation.
You would be wise to remember to be picking out a harness that both fits you as well as the toy you are looking to use properly. Check the size of your waist and hips along with the minimum and maximum diameter with the dildo or plug that the harness’ O-ring (which might be permanent or swappable) can accommodate so that the toy will fit snugly without getting around. Beyond matching the harness’ ring diameter, you should also typically look to get a dildo having a flared base to keep it secure.
The quick and dirty: In short, traditional harnessed strap-ons provide more support but can be cumbersome which can hamper intimacy. The key, as with anything in sex, is to get patient and look after a healthy spontaneity when things get tricky.
“Strapless Strap-ons”
Newer to the picture are so-called “strapless strap-ons”, for example the Tantus Feeldoe or Fun Factory Share (though this kind of toy is offered by many different manufacturers in a variety of shapes, textures, and… levels of lifelikeness). Strapless strap-ons typically offer a bulb to the wearer to grasp the dildo internally, as opposed to having to secure it by straps. These are fantastic for a host of reasons including that this avoidance of a harness makes sex all that much closer with your partner, and also the double-headed nature of such toys imply each party receive stimulation with every thrust (some strapless strap-ons also have slots to insert a bullet vibrator).
The potential downside of such toys is that they could be weighty and therefore, an issue for even one of the most practiced kegel black belt to carry in (particularly once motion and lube will be in the mix, or during anal sex given that this sphincter muscles are much tighter compared to vagina). This problem may be surmounted in numerous ways, however: first, certain positions are better suited to keeping the toy in (lazy doggy, cowgirl, spooning for example) or many actually opt to use these toys having a harness for extra support (while still experiencing the important things about mutual stimulation).
The quick and dirty: To recap, weighed against traditional strap-ons the strapless variety may offer more intimacy and much better mutual stimulation, however with typically with less control.
Other Pro Tips:
Get to know your toy. The better acquainted you happen to be with the actual way it fits together with your body alone, the more comfortable you will end up utilizing it which has a partner. Try wearing your toy solo, and learning how snug you need your harness to be, how much lube you may need to be comfortable, etc
LUBE. Lots of it. Don’t skimp simply to enhance control- you may regret it
Angles! Whether you’re trying to stimulate a g spot or a prostate, doggy style while using dil' curving downward is the approach to go
Be patient: Penetration always requires a serious degree of trust. Go slow, listen to the cues of one's body along with the verbal and non-verbal cues of your respective partner.
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